Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
