I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
