you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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