I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Randomize
