pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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