from now on my penis is your penis
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
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