some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
