I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
