and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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