Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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