She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
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