the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
