I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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