He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
