I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
