Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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