It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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