Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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