so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
