i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
