are you so shy because you have an std?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
