i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
