Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
