Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
