It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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