he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
