apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
