Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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