She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
