what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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