Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
