super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
