all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize