idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
