____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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