real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
