it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
