hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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