they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
