All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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