How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
