He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
