I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
