There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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