Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
