Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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