Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Found the puke drawer
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
They are going to name an STD after you.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize