Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize