why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
