My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
