UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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