If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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