There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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