is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize