i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
