saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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