really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
