I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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