I cockslap morals
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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