The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
