is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
