Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
