called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
