wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
