Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize